3.
The Comfort Zone

Who told you to get comfortable?

      One of the biggest problems in life today is that life is too easy. You don’t have to walk five miles for clean water. There is not need for you to go out hunting to feed you or your family. And you didn’t need to build your home with your own two hands. Some people still have to do this, but not you. No, you are lucky, you have a nice cushy job, gadgets galore and a nice leather sofa. Life is very comfortable isn’t it? But here lies the problem. We spend most of our lives fearing change, and spend most of our existence within something called the comfort zone. I just bought my 42” surround sound TV, now my life will be that much better. Really?

      In reality, the comfort zone isn’t particularly comfortable, and will result in constant challenges. For example, you will get unexpected bills, your health will suffer, and your relationships will be bland at best, disastrous at worst. This is life’s way of trying to get you to buck your ideas up, to change. But what happens, humanity in its wisdom likes the comfort zone, because when we consider the pain pleasure principle, it’s easier. Because of this, mankind has invented distractions to take its mind off what needs to be done. You have to get that report done by Friday, it is now Tuesday…..well, cannot do it tonight, the footballs on. I’ll revise for my exam next week. I’ll go to the gym tomorrow, don’t want to miss the Simpson’s.

Distractions are a big problem. And there are a variety of them:

• TV, DVD and Video
• Alcohol
• Non nutritious food
• Sport
• Gossip
• Holidays
• Gadgets and “must have items”
• Computer games
• The internet
• Pornography
• Drugs – legal and illegal
• Sex
• Newspapers/magazines
• Trashy novels

      I sound like a right fascist don’t I (the answer to that question is “No Steve, of course you don’t”). Well as it happens I am wearing my Jackboots as I write this. And yes, some of the above can be used to empower your life. The Internet can be an amazing source for research. Sex is great, period. And holidays are part of enjoying life. However, the reason these are called distractions is that the vast majority of people engage in the above INSTEAD of doing the things they need to do to change their lives. So instead of deferring their pleasure, looking after their bodies and making enough money so that they can live the life of their dreams, they get caught up in excuses and distractions. The result is they end up living a mediocre (at best) life.

     So let me ask you, assuming you want to change your life, is watching ER going to give you a better life. Wouldn’t studying for that degree course get you to where you want to go a little bit quicker? You decide, because when you combine distractions with excuses, then we have the current comfort zone for most of the western population. That’s why alcohol is a billion dollar industry. It creates a chemical change in your body. It helps you deal with life. You should be drinking alcohol because you want to, not because you need to.

      I am in no way saying you should remove all of life’s pleasures. Not at all. But you should not indulge in them when there are other, more beneficial things that you can do. You should not live your life for your pleasures. The pleasures in life should be your rewards for living an exceptional life. Don’t live for the comfort zone. Because, the problem is, in the long run, the comfort zone is far from comfortable. It is an illusion. Why? Because life is a harsh mistress. She demands the best from her children, and if they don’t live up to her expectations, she will make them suffer. The suffering is designed to get them to change their ways. This is, in the long run, for our own well being. But a lot of the time, we don’t listen, and when we don’t listen, we suffer.

      Let us take our friend Fred again. There he is, plodding along in his 9-5 job, not really enjoying it, not living his ultimate dream (not even knowing what his ultimate dream is). He drives to work every morning, listens to the radio, does the bare minimum, goes home, watches TV, maybe has something resembling sex, and goes to sleep. At the weekend he will go out with the LADS and get beered up. His whole working life seems geared to enjoyment at the weekend. And what is this enjoyment…..that’s right a distraction. Fred is 35. He could be sat on a yacht in the Mediterranean. After all, other people have done it. But Fred doesn’t have the same beliefs/references as say Sir Richard Branson. However, deep inside he knows that life could be better. He senses it, feels it within his very core. The subconscious knows. But consciously, Fred isn’t really aware that there is another way for him. He is of the belief that life is simply something that happens to you.

      There are things he has wanted to do with his life. Occasionally he may drift off and think about a dream he once had, a dream about say writing a book. Fred’s dream is to write a book, but he has developed the belief that he cannot. Shall we question him about it?

You: “Why don’t you write that book?”
Fred: “Oh I don’t have the time”

You: “Of course you have the time, you never do anything in the evenings except watch TV)
Fred: “But I am always too tired”

You: “Well you need to get more exercise, stop drinking alcohol, and eat healthily”
Fred: “I eat OK”

You: “Then why are you a stone overweight. Write the book.”
Fred: “I can’t, I don’t know how”

You: “Well take a course and learn. Look the local college does one”
Fred: “Oh that would be too expensive”

You: “It’s only £300. You can save that up in 6 months easily. Just cut down on your outgoings and don’t go on holiday”
Fred: “I couldn’t do that, the wife would kill me.”

You: “Why not ask her, see what she says.”
Fred: “I don’t have to; I know what she will say. And besides, I don’t have the imagination to write a book.”

    And onwards to infinity. Are you starting to see how this works? Fred will come up with excuse after excuse after excuse to defend his belief, even though it means drowning his dream. So what is your dream? And what are your excuses? If you had no obstacle, nothing to hold you back, what one thing would you want to do above all other? Care to write it down in the space below?


     Now if that is your ultimate dream, the one you haven’t achieved, I am sure you have some excuses as to why you haven’t achieved it. Yes, I know this can be painful, but if you want to change it needs to be done. So write down your excuses, everything you can think of. Look, I’ll even give you the rest of the page.

     The comfort zone is actually a prison, a prison without bars, one you can never escape from no matter how hard you try. My God, what’s the point then? The point is there are different layers of comfort zone. The ultimate test of humanity is to be constantly challenging your present comfort zone and expanding to the next. You have to constantly break through to the next zone, whilst resisting the temptation to slip back to where you were. It is very easy to slip back, but you have to do what you can to stop yourself. On of the indicators of successful is their constant need to grow. These damn people are never satisfied with what they have. They always want more. There is a clear image in their mind of how their life should look, and they are constantly striving to achieve that image. This is part of what makes them successful. Even if they fail, they still have that vision that they continue to strive for. Many millionaires have been bankrupt in the past, sometimes more than once. The best Athletes in the world have lost major events. You think Tiger Woods hasn’t put the ball into a bunker a few times? Everybody fails. It is what you learn from that failure, and how you apply your new found knowledge that counts. The unsuccessful fail and give up. The successful fail, pick themselves up and try again. And again, and again. They never give up.